he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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