it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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