I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
