I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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