I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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