I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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