She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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