I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
