how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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