with your own penis?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
