I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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