I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
