plz talk dirty to me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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