You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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