shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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