We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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