i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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