ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
