i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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