whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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