I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
