Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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