I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
