I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
