is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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