I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
