He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
