i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
