Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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