Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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