is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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