I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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