ugly people sure do ruin things
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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