i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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