My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
