Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
