we're blogging at a bar
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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