didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
