I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
