Someone shit on the floor
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
