she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize