Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
