It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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