i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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