I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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