why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize