dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
