I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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