i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How external is "for external use only"?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
