I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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