I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
