Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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