Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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