I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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