i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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