an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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