Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
