he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
