come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
